April 27, 2011 - Moe's Man For Life

Well, we had another uncontrollable attack for fast food.  Don't worry, we've permanently given up the McDonald's class of restaurant.  But even after all my research, it seems I still can't resist the overwhelming draw to the Southwest from my personal favorite host, Moe's!  Sorry to all of you religious Chipotle fans, but I just can't get behind it.  I just feel like they have a pompous attitude, and their prices reflect.  It's as if their passion for a cult following has blinded them to the idea that Americans are not as stupid as the economy predicts... but then again, there IS a cult following.  YOU PEOPLE REALIZE THAT A TORTILLA COSTS ABOUT A NICKEL TO MAKE, DON'T YOU?  Suckers!  And please correct me if I'm wrong, but Chipotle has no military discount.  Is this an establishment my money should back?  I think not.

Okay, enough rampage.  So there we were, committing our crime against better judgement.  Fully prepared to pump my children (and ourselves) full of genetically modified vegetation, hormone injected mystery meat products, and artificially flavored and chemically preserved... well... everything!  Why?  Because I'm an American dammit!  Just kidding.  Hey look, we're on a journey down nothing short of the long and winding detour from the norm.  If we didn't make the wrong decision once in awhile, it wouldn't be called a journey.  And I hope that anyone that is on the same journey agrees, and anyone inspired to join our quest is comforted and welcomed by the thought.

I was excited because Moe's added some new items to their repertoire, and it was clearly in an effort to up the zip!  And as it turned out, I was in the mood for some spice.  So when I saw "Spicy Burrito: Stuffed with marinated chicken, seasoned rice, black beans, pico de gallo, new spicy queso and new jalapeño sour cream," I was sold.  And it was AWESOME!  Elaine went with a "Homewrecker," Evan had his usual "Moo Moo Mr. Cow," and Riley was going to have a "Mini Masterpiece" until she demanded chicken ("Ca-ya chicken?!").  So we got her the "Mini" and added chicken.

But amidst all this excitement I couldn't seem to shake my disgust with... consumer product choices.  Yup, consumer product choices.  That's what I'm going with.  I can't express in a million blogs how strongly I feel about industry's poor decision to exacerbate America's food problem for the good of making a dollar.  I know that I'm not helping by purchasing this garbage, but I can justify the entertainment value of eating out.  Maybe it's hypocritical, but when you boil it all down, it's an opinion and I'm entitled to that.  I believe that the idea that "the public won't pay the extra money for real food," is crap.  We aren't given the opportunity.  And besides, if everyone was educated and realized what they were doing to themselves, realized where their food was coming from, and (most importantly) were presented with the opportunity to choose local, whole, natural foods, THEY WOULDN'T BE SO F***ING EXPENSIVE!.  Supply and demand people.  Take a class!

And then...

Elaine, with her eyes nearly out of her head, casually slides a tri-fold brochure across the table to me that contained this:

"GET. THE. F***. OUT. OF. TOWN..."

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for my, albeit censored, profane vocabulary tonight.  I realize that I am in rare form this evening.  I can't help it.  I'm so ------- excited about this I could fart!  And I did, ask Elaine!  Afterall, there were beans- This is inappropriate.

I am so happy to see this.  This is the stuff I want to see everywhere!  Now, is it 100%?  Ah... no.  Sorry.  BUT I'M STILL F***ING EXCITED!  Why?  Because it's a start.  And dammit, if Moe's can start, YOU CAN START!  So go eat some Moe's and feel good about it.  They have my praise and, most importantly, my endorsement.

Food - Awesome!

Atmosphere - Awesome!

Service - Awesome! ("Welcome to Mooooooe's!")

Overall - F***ing awesome!